I have this very fond memory of my mother. I don't have many, maybe six total, but I remember standing in the kitchen while she made dinner. She always let us snack while she was cooking but only ever on fruits and vegetables. Raspberries were always my favorite. I only ever got ten at a time - she'd put one on each of my fingers and I'd sit on the couch happy as a clam eating them one by one off my fingers while watching television. Running back into the kitchen for ten more and repeating the process endlessly because my fingers always needed hats.
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I'm doing things these days I told myself I would 100% never partake in. Like scoping out the coffee shops tucked away in the deep corners of this city just to be alone for a little bit. I woke up early this morning and I did exactly that. Parts of me felt ridiculous and insecure for venturing somewhere alone, but I'm very happy I did. Being alone just long enough to hear my own thoughts is nice and something I don't let myself indulge in often enough.
The people watching in this fine establishment is superb. I've seen twenty-somethings come in post workout, bastards I went to high school with, a fair share of the wiser and older citizens this city breeds, and my personal favorite, young children. I say young children in the least creepy way possible - children as in naive and still full of clarity. I think fondly of the days where I didn't have the brain capacity to worry over things that hadn't even happened and the ability to create what-if scenarios all day.
What I found to be the most captivating while watching a young girl drink homemade lemonade and destroying a croissant flake by flake was the look of never-ending joy on her face. It was just the way that every sip and bite made her grin even wider. It's like every second of her day was the absolute peak of joy and that's a feeling I'd like to revisit. I remember spending the days with my stay at home mom at the time and just little things like stopping for coffee and running mundane errands was just a level of joy that words today cannot describe.
I need that feeling of happiness again.
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